Letter 255: MR LOVELACE TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.

Well, but now my plots thicken; and my employment of writing to thee on this subject will soon come to a conclusion. For now, having got the license; and Mrs Townsend, with her tars, being to come to Hampstead next Wednesday or Thursday; and another letter possibly, or message from Miss Howe, to inquire how Miss Harlowe does, upon the rustic's report of her ill health, and to express her wonder that she has not heard from her in answer to hers on her escape--I must soon blow up the lady, or be blown up myself. And so I am preparing, with Lady Betty and my cousin Montague, to wait upon my beloved with a coach and four, or a set; for Lady Betty will not stir out with a pair for the world; though but for two or three miles. And this is a well known part of her character.

     But as to her arms and crest upon the coach and trappings?

     Dost thou not know that a Blunt's must supply her, while her own is new lining and repairing? An opportunity she is willing to take now she is in town. Nothing of this kind can be done to her mind in the country. Liveries nearly Lady Betty's.

     Thou hast seen Lady Betty Lawrance several times--hast thou not Belford?

     No, never in my life.

     But thou hast; and lain with her too; or fame does thee more credit than thou deservest--Why, Jack, knowest thou not Lady Betty's other name?

     Other name!--Has she two?

     She has. And what thinkest thou of Lady Bab Wallis?

     Oh the devil!

     Now thou hast it. Lady Barbara, thou knowest, lifted up in circumstances and by pride, never apears or produces herself, but on occassions special--to pass to men of quality or price for a duchess, or countess at least. She has always been admired for a grandeur in her air that few women of quality can come up to: and never was supposed to be other than what she passed for; though often and often a paramour (1) for lords.

     And who, thinkest thou, is my cousin Montague?

     Nay, how should I know?

     How indeed! Why my little Johanetta Golding, a lively, yet modest-looking girl, is my cousin Montague.

     There Belford, is an aunt!--There's a cousin! Both have wit at will. Both are accustomed to ape (2)quality. Both are genteely descended. Mistresses of themselves; are well educated--yet past pity. The Spartan dames; ashamed of nothing but detection--always, therefore, upon their guard against that. And in their own conceit, when assuming top parts, the very quality they ape.

     And how dost think I dress them out?--I'll tell thee.

     Lady Betty in a rich gold tissue, adorned with jewels of high price.

     My cousin Montague in a pale pink, standing [on] end with silver flowers of her own working. Charlotte, as well as my beloved, is admirable at her needle (3).
Not quite so richly jewelled out as Lady Betty; but ear-rings and solitare very valuable, and infinitely becoming.

     Johanna, thou knowest, has a good complexion, a fine neck, and ears remarkably fine--So has Charlotte. She is nearly of Charlotte's stature too.

     Laces both, the richest that could be procured.

     Thou canst not imagine what a sum the loan of jewels cost me; though but for three days.

     This sweet girl will half ruin me. But seest thou not by this time, that her reign is short?- It must be so. And Mrs Sinclair has already prepared everything for her reception once more.

     HERE come the ladies-attended by Susan Morrison, a tenant-farmer's daughter, as Lady Betty's woman; with her hands before her, and thoroughly instructed.

     How dress advantages women!--especially those, who are naturally a genteel air and turn, and have had education!

     Hadst thou seen how they prepared it-cousin, and cousin, and nephew, at every word; Lady Betty bridling and looking haughtily-condescending: Charlotte galanting her fan, and swimming over the floor without touching it.

     How I long to see my neice--elect! cries one--for they are told that we are not married; and are pleased that I have not put the slight upon them that they had apprehended from me.

     How I long to see my dear cousin that is to be, the other!

     Your la'ship, and your la'ship, and an awkward curtsy at every address, prim Susan Morrison.

     Top your parts, ye villians!--You know how nicely I distinguish. There will be no passion in this case to blind the judgement, and to help on meditated delusion, as when you encourage your entitled sinners. My charmer is a good cool and distinguishing, thou not so quite learned in her own sex, as I am. Your commonly assumed dignity won't do for me now. Airs of superiority, as if born to rank- but no overdo!-doubting nothing. Let not your faces arraign your hearts.

     Easy and unaffected!--Your very dresses will give you pride enough.

     A little graver, Lady Betty. More significance, less bridling,. in your dignity.

     That's the air! Charmingly hit--Again--you have it.

     Devil take you!--Less arrogance. You are got into airs of young quality . Be less sensible of your new condition. People born to dignity command respect without needing to require it.
     Now for your part, cousin Charlotte!--

     Pretty well. But a little too frolicky that air--Yet I have prepared my beloved to expect in you both, great vivacity and quality-freedom.

     Curse those eyes!--Those glancings will never do. A down-cast bashful turn, if you can command it-Look upon me. Suppose me now to be my beloved.

     Devil take that leer. Too significantly arch (4)!--Once I knew you the girl I would now have you to be.

     Sprightly (5), but not confident, cousin Charlotte!--Be sure forget not to look down, or aside, when looked at. when eyes meet eyes, be yours the retreating ones. Your face will bear examination.

     Oh Lord! Oh Lord! that so young a creature can so soon forget the innocent appearence she first charmed by; and which I thought born to you all!--Five years to ruin what twenty had been building up! How natural the latter lesson! How difficult to regain the former!

     A stranger, as I hope to be saved, to the principal arts of your sex!--Once more, what a devil has your heart to do in your eyes?

     Have I not told you that my beloved is a great observer of the eyes? She once quoted upon me a text, which showed my how she came by her knowledge--Dorcas's were found guilty of treason the first moment she saw her.

     Once more, suppose me to be my charmer- Now you are to encounter my examining eye, and my doubting heart--

     That's my dear!

     Study that air in the pier-glass!--

     Charming!--Perfectly right!

     Your honours, now, devils!--

     Pretty well, cousin Charlotte, for a young country lady!--Till form yields to familiarity, you may curtsy low. You must not be supposed to have forgot your boarding-school airs.

     But too low, too low, Lady Betty, for your years and your quality. The common fault of your sex will be your danger: aiming to be young and too long!--The devil's in you all, when you judge of yourselves by your wishes, and by your vanity! Fifty will then never be more than fifteen.

     Graceful ease, conscious dignity, like that of my charmer, oh how hard to hit!

     Both together now--

     Charming!--That's the air, Lady Betty!--That's the cue, cousin Charlotte, suited to the character of each!--But once more, be sure to have a guard upon your eyes.

     Never fear, nephew!--

     Never fear, cousin.

     A dram of Barbados (6) each--

     And now we are gone--

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