I HAVE just now had a specimen of what this dear creature's resentment will be hen quite recovered: an affecting one!--For, entering her apartment after Dorcas; and endeavouring to soothe and pacify her disordered mind; in the midst bf my blandishments, she held up to Heaven, in a speechless agony, the innocent licence (which she has in her own power); as the poor distressed Catalans held up "their English treaty,' on an occasion that keeps the worst of my actions in countenance.
She seemed about to call down vengeance upon me; when, happily, the leaden in pity to her trembling Lovelace waved over her half-drowned eyes his somniferous wand, and laid asleep the fair exclaimer before she could go half rough with her intended imprecation.
Thou wilt guess, by what I have written, that some little art has been made use of; but it was with a generous design (if thou'It allow me the word on such an occasion) in order to lessen the too quick sense she was likely to have of what she to suffer. A contrivance I never had occasion for before, and had not thought of now if Mrs Sinclair had not proposed it to me: to whom I left the management ~'of it: and I have done nothing but curse her ever since, lest the quantity should have for ever damped her charming intellects.
Hence my concern--for I think the poor lady ought not to have been so treated. ~Poor lady, did I say?--What have I to do with thy creeping style?--But have not I the worst of it; since her insensibility has made me but a thief to my own joys?
I did not intend to tell thee of this little innocent trick; for such I designed it to be; but that I hate disingenuity: to thee especially: and as I cannot help writing in a more serious vein than usual, thou wouldst, perhaps, had I not hinted the true cause, have imagined that I was sorry for the fact itself: and this would have given thee a good deal of trouble in scribbling dull persuasives to repair by matrimony; Besides, one day or other, thou mightesl, in an aggravated manner; and 1 know thou virtue, that thou wouldst be disappointed as subdued by her own consent, or any the beholden to me in some measure, that at the expense of my honour she may so justly form a plea, which will entirely salve hers?And now is the whole secret out.
Thou wilt say I am a horrid fellow!--as the lady does that I am the unchained Beelzebub, and a plotting villain: and as this is what you both said beforehand, and nothing worse can be said, I desire, if thou wouldst not have me quite serious with thee, and that I should think thou meanest more by thy tilting-hint than I am willing to believe thou dost, that thou wilt forbear thy invectives: for is not the thing done?--Can it be helped?--And must I not now try to make the best of it?-And the rather do I enjoin thee this, and inviolable secrecy; because I begin to think that my punishment will be greater than the fault, were it to be only from my own reflection.
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