LETTER
318: MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE TO MISS HOWE
[Summary]
Tuesday,
July 11
I
APPROVE, my dearest friend, of the method you prescribe for the conveyance of
our letters; and have already caused the porter of the inn to be engaged to
bring to me yours, the moment that Collins arrives with them: as the servant of
the house where I am will be permitted to carry mine to Collins for you.
As you are so earnest to
have all the particulars of my sad story before you, I will, if life and spirits
be lent me, give you an ample account of all that has befallen me from the time
you mention. But this, it is very probable, you will not see till after the
close of my last scene: and as I shall write with a view to that, I hope no
other voucher will be wanted for the veracity of the writer.
I am far from thinking
myself out of the reach of this man's further violence. But what can I do?
Whither can I fly?-Perhaps my bad state of health (which must grow worse, as
recollection of the past evils, and reflections upon them, grow heavier and
heavier upon me) may be my protection. Once, indeed, I thought of going abroad;
and had I the prospect of many years before me, I would go- But, my dear, the
blow is given-Nor have you reason, now, circumstanced as I am, to be concerned
that it is. What a heart must I have if it not be broken!—And , indeed, my
dear, my best, I had almost said my only friend, I do so earnestly
wish for the last closing scene, and with so much comfort find myself in a
declining way, that I even sometimes ungratefully regret that naturally healthy constitution
which used to double upon me all my enjoyments. As to the earnestly
recommended prosecution, I may possibly touch upon it more largely hereafter, if
ever I shall have better spirits; for they are at present extremely sunk and
low-But, just now, will only say that I would sooner suffer every evil (the
repetition of the capital one excepted), than appear publicly in a court to do
myself justice.* And I am heartily grieved that your mother prescribes such a
measure as the condition of our future correspondence-for the continuance of
your friendship, my dear, and the desire I had to correspond with you to my
life's end, were all my remaining hopes and consolation. Nevertheless, as that
friendship is in the power of the heart, not of the hand only, I hope I shall
not forfeit that.
Oh my dear! what weight has a parent's curse-You cannot
imagine-But I will not touch this string to you, who never loved them!-A
reconciliation with them is not to be hoped for!
I
have written a letter to Miss Rawlins of Hampstead; the answer to which, just
now received, has helped me to the knowledge of the vile contrivance by which
this wicked man got your letter of June the 10th. I will give you the contents
of both.
In
mine to her, I briefly acquaint her `with what had befallen me, through the
vileness of the women who had been passed upon me as the aunt and cousin of the
wickedest of men; and own that I never was married to him. I desire her to make
particular inquiry, and to let me know, who it was at Mrs. Moore's, that on
Sunday afternoon, June 11, while I was at church, received a letter from Miss
Howe, pretending to be me, and lying on a couch-which letter, had it come to my
hands, would have saved me from ruin. I excuse myself (from the delirium which
the barbarous usage I had received threw me into, and from a confinement as
barbarous and illegal), that I had not before applied to Mrs. Moore for an
account of what I was indebted to her: which I now desired. And, for fear of
being traced by Mr. Lovelace, I directed her to superscribe her answer, To Mrs.
Mary Atkins; to be left till called
for, at the Bell Savage Inn, on Ludgate Hill.'
In
her answer she tells me, `that the vile wretch prevailed upon Mrs. Bevis to
personate me. A sudden motion of his, it seems, on the appearance of your
messenger-persuaded to lie along on a couch: a handkerchief over her neck and
face; pretending to be ill; drawn in, by false notions of your ill offices to
keep up a variance between a man and his wife-and so taking the letter from your
messenger as me.
“Miss Rawlins takes pains to excuse Mrs. Bevis's intention.
She expresses their astonishment and concern at what I communicate: but is glad,
however, and so they are all, that they know in time the vileness of the base
man; the two widows and herself having, at his earnest invitation, designed me a
visit at Mrs. Sinclair's; supposing all to be happy between him and me; as he
assured them was the case. Mr.
Lovelace, she informs me, had handsomely satisfied Mrs. Moore. And Miss, '
Rawlins concludes with wishing to be favoured with the particulars of so
extraordinary a story, as they may be of use to let her see what wicked
creatures (women as well as men) there are in the world.”
I thank you for the
drafts of your two letters which were intercepted by this horrid man. I see the
great advantage they were of to him, in the prosecution of villainous designs
against the poor wretch whom he has so long made the sport of his abhorred
inventions.
Let me repeat that I am
quite sick of life; and of an earth in which innocent and benevolent spirits are
sure to be considered as aliens, and to be made sufferers by the genuine sons
and daughters of that earth.
How unhappy that those
letters only which could have acquainted with his horrid views, and armed me
against them and against the vileness of the base women, should fall into his
hands!-Unhappier ill, in that my very escape to Hampstead gave him the
opportunity of receiving them!
Nevertheless,
I cannot but still wonder how it was possible for that Tomlinson to know what
passed between Mr Hickman and my uncle Harlowe[1]:
a circumstance which gave that vile impostor most of his credit with me.
How the wicked wretch
himself could find me out at Hampstead must also remain wholly a mystery to me.
He may glory in his contrivances-he who has more wickedness than wit, may glory
in his contrivances!-but, after all, I shall, I humbly presume to hope, be
happy, when he, poor wretch, will be-alas!-who can say what!
Adieu, my dearest
friend!-May you be happy!-And then your Clarissa Harlowe cannot be wholly
miserable!
*
Dr Lewin, as will be seen hereafter, presses her to this public prosecution by
arguments worthy of his character: which she answers in a manner worthy of hers.
Home | Letter 317 | Letter 319
[1] See the note at the bottom of p. 1013